I got an inquiry recently that really opened my eyes to something and I had to share / write about it. The client kept apologizing for being so indecisive and it absolutely broke my heart and here’s why. Women dream about their wedding day their ENTIRE LIVES! It’s like we came out of the womb and the world expected us to know what we wanted when we got married.
From the time we were children playing house and fake marrying our boyfriends on the playground, we were inundated with this notion that our wedding day was going to be “perfect”. The crazy thing is – this perception only increases as you get older and see all of your friends getting married, but you don’t see all of the behind the scenes work it took to get there. It is not until you’re faced with all of these decisions do you realize how impossible it is to settle when there are so many things to consider.
Nothing is like what you thought it would be. The wedding industry is EXPENSIVE honeyyyyyy… and absolutely takes advantage of people’s willingness to spend money. Not to mention the money that is given towards weddings always inevitably comes with strings attached, thanks Aunty Karen. Everyone has an opinion on how the day should go. There is a huge menu of traditions that you suddenly have to choose from. Vendors are throwing themselves into your DM’s (including me, sorry about it). And you’re expected to figure it all out on your own.
Whew! I’m exhausted just typing all of that…but seriously I see this first hand with every single bride that I come in contact with. There’s the same look of overwhelm in their eyes and they are trying not to freak out, but on the inside they are definitely freaking out. I’m here to tell you – ITS OKAY!
It’s okay to not know what you want. It’s okay to not be sure of the first photographer/vendor you meet with because you don’t know what else is out there. It’s okay to be overwhelmed and anxious. It’s okay to be angry that you feel alone in it (especially if your partner is not really “into” helping you). This is A LOT.
3 pieces of advice to all of my anxious wedding planners:
It’s going to be perfectly imperfect. I’ve never seen a day go exactly how it was planned so don’t waste too much of your time trying to plan the “perfect” wedding day. Don’t let the fear of it not going perfect scare you either – this is supposed to liberate you from the pressure of perfectionism.
- This is YOUR day
It’s important to plan a day that FEELS like you. Nothing is better to a guest than going to a wedding and it FEELS like the two getting married. You get a sense of their quirky personalities in the decorations, you enjoy some of their favorite food with them, you can appreciate how they structure their day because it’s deeply personal. It’s YOUR day and it’s okay if you want to do things a little differently. It’s okay if you upset some people by cutting the guest list short. It’s okay if you tell your mom you’re not wearing her veil or doing some silly outdated tradition you feel pressured to do (sorry moms). Any decision you decide to make is OKAY. You’re going to be so happy looking back if you make decisions that feel like you instead of trying to appease your family or potential guests.
- It’s okay to change your mind
You’re allowed to up and decide you want blue table cloths instead of black. You can say that you thought about it and would rather just elope. You don’t have to apologize for changing your mind about the texture or shape of the cake. My only caveat to this – be considerate of your vendors. We spend a lot of time working hard to make sure you have the perfect day and each of us has a different timeline as to how far out we begin prepping. So if you do change your mind on something – make sure you’re kind about it and understand that our time is precious. Maybe don’t wait until the week before the wedding to change things and understand – you may not get your deposit back if you chose to go with a different vendor.
**Also if you’re in the inquiry stage and haven’t booked a vendor yet, BE HONEST. Let us know you’re searching and talking to other people. If you book someone else, no sweat, just let us know so we stop following up with you making awkward for the both of us. I guarantee most of us are just stoked that you found the right fit!**
The point I’m trying to get at here is – you’re allowed to explore all that this industry has to offer you before making decisions. You are allowed to be picky about a huge life event. Just keep in mind that it’s a blip in time. A drop in the bucket in the grand scheme of your life. Enjoy the process and enjoy your wedding day. It’s going to be perfectly you.
CHEERS to planning a day that represents you and your spouse that is fun and stress free!
Cirrus Gold is a Wedding Photography business based in Columbus Georgia and Phenix City Alabama area. We also do couples, engagements, business branding, and some family portraits. We are about to launch an entire drone video service so stay tuned for more information!